Friend

“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.”
What a rich life I have led, simply because of the friends I have chosen. Many of them I don't even feel like I have chosen them because they have always been a part of my life. We were too young to know it was a choice to become friends, and 20-or-so years later, here we are, still friends.
Today I found out the sad news that I lost a friend. Seth.
I am so grateful that the news was delivered by someone I consider to be much more than a friend, and more like a sister. Emma called me this morning to let me know of Seth's passing. I was on my way to work. She let me know which ones of our close group of friends she had called. I soon found myself on the phone with dear friends whose voices I hadn't heard in far too long. As I listened to each voice on the other end of the phone, I couldn't help but contemplate what it is exactly that made my bond with them so much stronger than many of the others I call friend. There is just something about a friend who has grow up with you, knows your family, your strengths, and each glaring flaw, but is by your side anyway. They ran down the same streets as you as a child, and helped you laugh through all those awkward self-discovery years as a teenager.
As I talked with each friend about Seth and how they were dealing with the grief, I didn't feel like I had to say or try and be anything other than what they knew me to be. We weren't worried about catching up on each other's lives or getting after each other for not talking more, but rather taking a moment to be a friend and remember a friend.
Seth will be missed. I smile as I think of his goofy laugh and contagious smile. I don't know how many "run-ins" with the Farmington Police Department I had while hanging out with Seth-and-Boys, but that is why I loved being with them: there was always fun to be had and trouble to make. Seth was always a good sport when I would get up on my high horse and reprimand the boys for being destructive, careless, or what ever else it may have been that I was chewing them out for. I never once remember him getting angry with me or my bossiness. The last time I saw him was at the movie theatres at Christmas. He was so handsome and happy. That is how I will always remember him. I just wish now that I would have hugged him a little tighter and told him one more time how much I loved him and all his shenanigans.
I found myself reminding many of my friends that I loved them and reminding myself to remember how much each one of them means to me. As we are coordinating our drive home for the funeral, I look forward to hugging each of the them and recommitting to caring less about the distracting things, and more about those who have helped me become Me.

“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”