Why Spanking never worked for me

I have always known that Dad's nightly spankings at dinner time were part of everyday life in the Webb household when I was little. What I don't remember is why I was getting spanked. There is a lesson in those first two sentences. Obviously, spanking did not have the intended effect Dad thought it should. You know what would have worked miracles? Being told that mom and dad were disappointed in what ever it was that I was doing to deserve a spanking.
You are probably wondering why I am going off on this. Well, at the ripe age of 22, I am discovering the disipline tactic that works best for me. The other day I turned in my last lesson plan for toddler lab after spending many hours putting it together. I got it back today with a grade that I don't even want to talk about. Written in pink at the bottom were the comments "Mikael, come talk to me. I am very disappointed in this last lesson plan. I know you can do better than this." Stab to the heart. I really could do better than what I had turned in. I really thought I had done a great job on it when I turneed it in, but now that I am looking back on it, I am wondering how I left so many things out! Maybe it is becasue every huge project and lesson plan is due on Monday, and I am trying desperately to get everything done before Moab so I can just enjoy it. After going in and talking to my teacher and begging her not to think less of me for my absent mindedness, I went back to the computer lab to get back to work...But as I sat there thinking about how disappointed my teacher was and how mad I was at myself for overlooking such silly things, the tears started to come. I absolutely HATE crying in front of people, especially people I don't know, so I packed my stuff up and cried all the way home.
I know everyone keeps saying I will look back on college and miss it, but as of right now, if I can just survive these next two weeks, I will call it a victory. I try and focus on all the great things that have been happening- the relationship that I have formed with one of my toddler's parents and how we have seen a lot of progress because of that, or the confidence I feel when I teach in Kindergarten, but the fact that I live with five other girls, mother natures gift has decided to drop by for a week long visit, and life after college still seems like a distant dream, are all facts that love to steal happiness.
I know, I know, "It will all be over before you know it! Hang in there!" I am not going to lie, those words aren't very comforting when survivng today is at the bottom of the to do list.